image credit: stumble trip, via flickr

My husband is Portuguese, but we live in Spain. My husband says that it feels unnatural for him to speak to our seven month old son Marco in Portuguese, although he plans to speak Portuguese to him when he is old enough to speak back. I’m always telling my husband it will be too late by then. How can I convince him to speak to our son in Portuguese now? What are the technical reasons why it is so important for Marco to hear both languages from the beginning?

María, Bilbao, Spain

Dear María:

When you feel comfortable speaking to your child in one language, it can be difficult to switch gears and speak to him in another language. Forcing this type of change can even cause emotional difficulties, since it is already hard enough to learn to be a parent, establish emotional ties with your child, etc. This is especially true when your baby’s communication skills are still rudimentary. I would encourage you not to worry too much because IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE.

At this point it seems like I support your husband’s decision, right? The truth is I’m not radically opposed to him waiting until your son is older to speak to him in his native language or even never speaking to him in Portuguese at all if that would somehow damage his relationship with his child. BUT…there would have to be a very good reason for him not to do so.

The following is a list of common myths which are NOT good reasons for your husband to avoid speaking to your son in his native language:
-Myth 1: Portuguese would not be useful for my child, since it’s not as “prestigious” as languages such as English, German or French. Portuguese and its variants are spoken by millions of people worldwide (Brazil, Africa, etc.), and sometimes learning a less “popular” language can provide unexpected academic and career advantages for your child. Who knows if Brazil, like China, may one day become an important trade location for multinational companies?
-Myth 2: If my child learns both Spanish and Portuguese at the same time, this choice may prevent him from learning other important world languages like English. On the contrary, speaking two languages from the time he is small will help your child learn a third language later in life.
-Myth 3: All of my efforts to communicate with my son are in vain until he learns to speak. If that were the case, why should we speak to our children in any language if they don’t understand us?

I would like to help you both make the best possible decision for your family by giving you a few reasons why your son would benefit from hearing both languages as soon as possible:
-Language development begins when the fetus begins to hear. Babies can hear you from the very beginning, even when they’re in their mother’s womb. This process is passive at first, then it becomes more active as the child grows.
-A four month old baby is perfectly capable of distinguishing between the sounds and musicality of both his languages and reacts in a different way to each one.
-Four month olds are also able to learn (by imitating) the movements their parents’ mouths make when speaking with them. According to recent studies, they can even distinguish between facial movements of those who are speaking with them when presented with visual recordings with no sound.
-When a baby begins to babble, he is producing only those sounds included in the phonetic repertoire of the languages he hears at home. He generally produces the easiest sounds first and the more complicated ones later.
-One of the first steps in learning a language is to distinguish its musicality and phonetics. It has also been demonstrated that the earlier a child learns a second language, the easier it will be for him to speak without a foreign accent in that language.

Even if these arguments do convince your husband, he may still need some help deciding how to make the transition from one language to another. Here are few suggestions:
-A visit from a Portuguese family member or a vacation in Portugal would be a great help. When we hear others around us speaking in a language, it feels more natural for us to speak to our child in that language. In this context, the change may not feel as forced.
-It may be easier to make this transition when your husband is alone with your son in a relaxed environment such as bath time, when telling him a bedtime story or singing him a lullaby. The presence of a person he is not used to speaking Portuguese around may make the transition more uncomfortable or artificial.
-Sometimes reading a book in the native language can be a more practical first step. In this way your husband would only have to read what is written. The text could also inspire him to add his own comments or discuss the story with your son. Babies as young as nine months old already love to help turn the pages and look at the illustrations. Reading bilingual books is especially helpful, as each of you can read the text in your own language, which will help your son to associate two different words with the same illustration and actions.
-Playing some of the same games our parents played with us as children can also be helpful. Each culture has its own games, so have fun playing with your son!

Sometimes making these small changes can make the transition from one language to another easier. It also allows us to experiment before deciding whether or not we are capable of making this change, and just how fast or slow we want things to go.

María, I’m afraid this change won’t be immediate or forced, but I wish you both the best of luck with finding the right path for your bilingual family.

All the best,
Dr. Orlanda Varela

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

Update: Please feel free to send any questions you may have about raising children in a bilingual home to info@bilingualreaders.com, and the experts from Sinews will be happy to answer them.

image credit: Bed Book (via Spain Dad)

In keeping with the recent father’s day motif, we’ve discovered a fun blog called Spain Dad, about an American father raising his beautiful daughter, Alleke, in Madrid. Spain Dad Kelly writes about everything from parenting to baby names to natural birth options in Madrid, but what really grabbed my attention was a post he wrote about a photobook he made for his daughter. You can read the entire post on Spain Dad, but here’s the description of how he went about making The Bed Book for his daughter:

How to write a book for your child:

1. April and I spent some time re-reading the sleep chapters in a few of our favorite parenting books as well as some advice from friends in emails and online forums.

2. After some discussion, we outlined Alleke’s new bedtime routine together.

3. Using the outline, I wrote the story for the book and got April’s approval.

4. I took digital photos of Alleke acting out each part of her new bedtime routine (which involved a lot of giggling).

5. I created a photo book in iPhoto (I inserted the photos in sequence and added the text), then ordered a copy online. It cost 25€ and took about a week to arrive. If you don’t have a Mac, do a Google search for “photo book,” and you’ll find all kinds of companies that make photo books, like blurb and Shutterfly.

What kid wouldn’t want to read a book about herself over and over again? What a great way to make shared parent-child reading special and help children adjust to new routines. I love this idea, which would work perfectly with bilingual text for OPOL families. If any of you decide to make your own bilingual photobooks, please send us a link so we can see how they turn out!

image credit: read to me dad (via flickr)

In honor of Father’s Day in the United States (in Spain, Father’s Day is celebrated in March), we’ve decided to dedicate today’s post to all the dads out there who are raising bilingual readers. All too often we associate this daily commitment with moms, but there are also many amazing fathers who are extremely involved in giving their children the gifts of bilingualism and literacy. According to a recent article by the UK National Literacy Trust, “Dads and other male carers are just as important as mums in encouraging children to enjoy reading - perhaps even more so, since reading is often thought of by boys as a “girly” thing to do.” Father-child shared reading is even more important in OPOL households, as children need to be read to in both parents’ languages in order to receive balanced input of the vocabulary, sentence structure, sounds, rhythms and rhymes of each of individual language.

Are you an involved dad who’s interested in making reading a priority, but you don’t know where to begin? Here’s a list of down to earth tips for dads from Dad’s Space , an excellent resource for fathers across the globe:

• With kids under two, don’t worry if they’d rather flick through the pages and point at pictures than read the story - at this point the story is much less important than the child understanding the world around them.
• Get interactive – why not encourage children to write their own stories using characters in a book, you can also write one yourself!
• Personalise reading- choose the correct reading matter for you and your child, you can read anything such as football programmes, comics, sporting magazines etc.
• Read with your child everyday. Make a point to sit down together everyday and read something – it could be before bed or before dinner – make it into a regular occasion which you can both look forward to.
• Read yourself- children copy their parents so set a good example!
• Fill your home with books, both fiction and non fiction, and encourage your child to fill their own bookcase with their favourite books. Books in the home encourage a life long love of reading for the whole family. It doesn’t have to be expensive either - you can pick up books in libraries, charity shops and on Freecycle for little or nothing!
• Find a subject you can both enjoy whether its horror, comedy, science fiction or adventure stories and really enjoy reading for the pleasure of a good story.
• Take it in turn to read pages or chapters, by sharing the experience not only are you spending time with your child but you are able to keep track of how they are improving.
• Visit your local library or book shop together- discuss what you want to read and spend time hunting down books for you both to enjoy.
• Enjoy reading – it’s a gift which you can share with your child and will last them a lifetime.

Thanks to Dad’s Space for the great advice, and Happy Father’s Day to all our bilingual dads!