image credit: going up, via flickr

I’m from Barcelona, and I’m bilingual in Catalan and Spanish. I currently live in Italy with my Italian husband, and we were wonder which languages we should speak to our future children, since all three of these Latin languages are very similar and we don’t know any other Catalan/Spanish speaking families here in Italy. I know that Spanish would be more useful, but I would hate for them to miss out on Catalan and all the stories, songs and games I know in Catalan. My husband speaks Spanish (more or less) and understands Catalan. Thanks for your help!

Dear Mommy,

What you’re expressing when you say “I would hate for them to miss out on Catalan and all the stories, songs and games I know in Catalan” is the reason why we always encourage parents to speak to their children in the language they’re most comfortable in. This is primarily due to emotional reasons. Language is so much more than signs and symbols–it’s the instrument we use to transmit culture, experiences and the affectionate exchange between parents and children. So we feel it’s not a good idea for you to feel forced into establishing a connection with your child through a language that doesn’t feel natural to you.

In order to respond to your specific questions and doubts and to better plan a strategy for your bilingual home, we should first discuss several things. Based solely on your question about which language each parent should speak, the One Parent One Language (OPOL) model would work well for your family. You could speak Catalan and your husband would speak Italian. In this way you can create an environment in which your child would learn both languages naturally and each parent would feel comfortable speaking his or her own language.

With regard to Spanish, I’m wondering which language you and your husband speak to each other. If you generally speak Spanish together, that would be a great way to expose your child to his third language. This would be a passive way for them to learn, since they would acquire sounds and words passively, which would make it easier to activate their use of Spanish when they need it. Learning two languages from the very beginning will make it easier for your child to learn a third language later on in life. If all three languages are romance languages (Latin roots), the process will be even more simple. In fact, the entire process of language acquisition (no matter which language we’re talking about) is incitially a passive experience which later becomes active.

If you and your husband don’t generally speak Spanish to each other, don’t worry about trying to change that. There are many ways to expose your child to a third language, so I think your first priority should be for each of you to use the language which allows you to communicate freely with your children. Your children can learn Spanish by traveling to Spanish speaking countries, attending summer camp in Spain, etc.

Above all, bear in mind that languages are learned as a result of motivation and the child’s need to communicate.

Good luck with your trilingual family!

Mariana Lombardo is an experienced children speech therapist. She does clinical work at SINEWS with bilingual familias in the expat community in Madrid. Mariana is in charge of the workshops for bilingual families offered by SINEWS and she also gives personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families. For more information, please visit www.sinews.es.