image credit: panic, by nate steiner, via flickr

I’m writing because I have several doubts about how to teach my son a language which is not my own. Because it is his father’s language, I’d like for him to learn it as though it was his mother tongue.

My son and I live in a small town (with my son’s grandparents) where no one speaks English. His father and his family are English and, even though they don’t have much of a relationship, I’d like for my son to know about British culture and speak English as well as he speaks Spanish.

Now my son is 2 and a half years old, and he is starting to repeat everything. I try to speak to him in English as much as I can, and it seems like he understands me. But I also speak to him in Spanish, and I have read that it would be better for him to relate English with a specific person. I don’t know if I am confusing him because there are words he doesn’t know how to say in Spanish that he does say in English (though he does understand them in Spanish).

He always watches cartoons in English and I read to him in English and Spanish. My parents ask him to say things in English, but he doesn’t really know what English and Spanish are yet. He can count in both languages but I have to prompt him. If I say “uno” he says “dos” and if I say “one”, he begins to count with “two” all the way to ten.
I’m the only one who speaks to him in a different language and I don’t know if that is enough for him to be bilingual or if he’ll learn when he goes to school and becomes curious about the culture and wants to learn about it. But will it be too late then? I’ve very overwhelmed, I don’t know if I’m doing a good job because I can tell he is evolving more in Spanish than in English. Does this mean he’ll never be bilingual? I always speak to him in English when we are alone, but not at the same time each day, though I’ve read that it’s a good idea for children to associate a language with a time and place, bath time, dinner time, etc. I speak to him in English when I can tell he is receptive.
I really hope you can help me. I don’t know if I should see a professional who could help me, since it is very difficult to do this alone.

Thank you very much.
Helena

Hi Helena!

I think it’s great that you are making such a strong effort to teach your son about another culture through his father’s language. It’s a difficult task, but it’s not impossible! As I always say in our Workshops, don’t get overwhelmed and give up other important things in favor of bilingualism! There will always be opportunities to learn a second language, but our children are only very small once and it is also fantastic to enjoy those years in one, two or many languages.

First, it’s logical that your son would have more vocabulary and sentences in Spanish, and it will also be logical if you notice a significant difference between his Spanish and English as he begins to speak more and interact with more people. This is especially true if the only person he speaks English with is you.
But don’t panic! I believe that every little thing (or big thing) you do to help him learn is allowing a small seed to grow.

Your question brings up several interesting points:
1. “it would be better for him to relate English with a specific person.” In your case, there is no one person who just speaks one specific language. But that is in no way a bad thing. The only thing you need to do is get a bit organized. It’s not a good idea for you to constantly translate what you’re saying or switch back and forth between English and Spanish. You are a model for your child and you should try to be a valid one. No one naturally speaks two different languages at the same time or repeats the same thing in two languages. Conclusion: your language is Spanish and in your daily life you interact with your son in Spanish. But you can choose certain moments during the day to share certain activities with your son in English. This could be reading a story, playing a game, bath time, shopping, whatever you and your son prefer. But try to find some time every day for interaction in his second language.
2. “he doesn’t really know what English and Spanish are yet”. Neither he nor any other small child who speaks two or more languages knows the names of those languages. To him there are just different ways to say the same thing. What you need to bear in mind is that when you want a child to learn two languages simultaneously as a small child, the best way to do this is the natural way. In this sense, asking him to translate something is not a good idea. Why not? Because we naturally use language to communicate, ask for things, get something. If we translate, we are not really meeting any of the objectives of speaking.
3. “it’s a good idea for children to associate a language with a time and place”. This also goes along with what I told you in the first point, but it may be a good idea to clarify this. The idea of associating a language with a time and a place is more about giving a child certain communication norms and not mixing languages at the same time. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that it has to be the exact same moment every day (bath time, for example). If this is the way we interpret this, it would not be very helpful for a child. If you only speak English to your son at bath time, he will know lots of bath words in English, but he won’t know anything about food. The idea is to look for moments throughout the day to speak in his second language, but this doesn’t always have to be associated with the exact same activity.

Finally, I would recommend checking out the following link (http://www.rif.org/kids/leadingtoreading/es/leadingtoreading.htm). Here you’ll find many activities you can do with your child. And if you know someone else who speaks English, it would be great for your son to see that there are other people who can interact in that language.

Best of luck and please don’t be overwhelmed. There are many opportunities to learn. Now go have fun with your son!

Best,
Mariana Lombardo
Mariana Lombardo is an experienced children speech therapist. She does clinical work at SINEWS with bilingual families in the expat community in Madrid. Mariana is in charge of the workshops for bilingual families offered by SINEWS and she also gives personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families. For more information, please visit www.sinews.es.