Ask Sinews

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I’m from Barcelona, and I’m bilingual in Catalan and Spanish. I currently live in Italy with my Italian husband, and we were wonder which languages we should speak to our future children, since all three of these Latin languages are very similar and we don’t know any other Catalan/Spanish speaking families here in Italy. I know that Spanish would be more useful, but I would hate for them to miss out on Catalan and all the stories, songs and games I know in Catalan. My husband speaks Spanish (more or less) and understands Catalan. Thanks for your help!

Dear Mommy,

What you’re expressing when you say “I would hate for them to miss out on Catalan and all the stories, songs and games I know in Catalan” is the reason why we always encourage parents to speak to their children in the language they’re most comfortable in. This is primarily due to emotional reasons. Language is so much more than signs and symbols–it’s the instrument we use to transmit culture, experiences and the affectionate exchange between parents and children. So we feel it’s not a good idea for you to feel forced into establishing a connection with your child through a language that doesn’t feel natural to you.

In order to respond to your specific questions and doubts and to better plan a strategy for your bilingual home, we should first discuss several things. Based solely on your question about which language each parent should speak, the One Parent One Language (OPOL) model would work well for your family. You could speak Catalan and your husband would speak Italian. In this way you can create an environment in which your child would learn both languages naturally and each parent would feel comfortable speaking his or her own language.

With regard to Spanish, I’m wondering which language you and your husband speak to each other. If you generally speak Spanish together, that would be a great way to expose your child to his third language. This would be a passive way for them to learn, since they would acquire sounds and words passively, which would make it easier to activate their use of Spanish when they need it. Learning two languages from the very beginning will make it easier for your child to learn a third language later on in life. If all three languages are romance languages (Latin roots), the process will be even more simple. In fact, the entire process of language acquisition (no matter which language we’re talking about) is incitially a passive experience which later becomes active.

If you and your husband don’t generally speak Spanish to each other, don’t worry about trying to change that. There are many ways to expose your child to a third language, so I think your first priority should be for each of you to use the language which allows you to communicate freely with your children. Your children can learn Spanish by traveling to Spanish speaking countries, attending summer camp in Spain, etc.

Above all, bear in mind that languages are learned as a result of motivation and the child’s need to communicate.

Good luck with your trilingual family!

Mariana Lombardo is an experienced children speech therapist. She does clinical work at SINEWS with bilingual familias in the expat community in Madrid. Mariana is in charge of the workshops for bilingual families offered by SINEWS and she also gives personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families. For more information, please visit www.sinews.es.

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I am Scottish and only speak to my daughter in English. Her mum is Spanish. She’s now 2 years and 4 months and produces long sentences and understands everything I say to her. However, I don’t know if I should be forcing her to say more in English as she obviously knows, or let her speak more in her own time. She normally speaks to me in Spanish and I translate everything into English.

Joseph O’Donnell

Dear Joseph,

Before I respond to your question, I’d love to ask you a few questions such as: How often is your daughter exposed to each of her languages? What need does she have to communicate in each language? In which language did she speak her first words? In any case, I will do my best to give you the most helpful response to your particular case.

First I’d like to say that it’s great for you to continue to ask questions and answer your daughter in English even when she answers in Spanish. This is very consistent with the OPOL model you’ve chosen (you always speak in English and her mother always speaks in Spanish). But be careful about “translating” everything she says because that could have a negative effect. On the one hand, this is a “dangerous” way of telling her that she doesn’t need to make the effort to speak to you in English since you will formulate those sentences for her. This is also a fairly unnatural, more academic way of communicating. Your daughter has the great advantage of learning two language at once as all children learn their native languages, by using them, based on trial and error.

Based on what you’ve told me, it seems like your daughter is able to answer you in English from time to time, which leads me to believe that she does have a certain control of English.

What you need to remember is that English is your daughter’s minority language, so she probably feels more comfortable speaking in Spanish. Most children her age are in the midst of the process of EXPRESSING their language. Until now it was more important for her to develop her ability to understand and analyze adult speech in order for her to begin to express her own ideas and needs in words.

It’s important for us to understand that learning a language is not a matter of force or correction. It’s about feeling the NEED to communicate with others. Children use language when it is USEFUL for them to satisfy their needs. This motivates them to keep using it since they see language as a useful tool for achieving their objectives.

In order to further STIMULATE your daughter to use English when she communicates with you without “pressuring” her, I would suggest you use activities that she likes. At your daughters age, you can use children’s songs to sing and dance together, games with puppets (which are great for getting rid of inhibitions and can often help with expression, since your daughter will be speaking to a character that his not her father and “only understands” English), storybooks, etc…In this way you’ll not only be reinforcing your daughter’s English, you’ll also be sharing valuable quality time with her.

In some of the larger cities, there are also playgroups where parents get together to play with their children and do other activities (dance, crafts, theater) in their native languages. These groups would also allow your daughter to see that there are other people who speak English and help it feel more natural for her to use her English. This kind of activities will allow her to see another model: “There are lots of people who speak in English with Daddy.” For this same reason, it’s very important to maintain contact with your family and friends in your home country. Frequent visits are a catalyst for important advances in the minority language.

There are many options for helping your daughter to express herself freely and comfortably in English, but you must always remember that the greatest stimulant is to create a perceived need for her to do so.

Mariana Lombardo is an experienced children speech therapist. She does clinical work at SINEWS with bilingual familias in the expat community in Madrid. Mariana is in charge of the workshops for bilingual families offered by SINEWS and she also gives personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families. For more information, please visit www.sinews.es.

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I have a 27 month old son, who is currently doing a great job learning two languages. He learns Spanish from me and English from his mother (I am Spanish and she is British). I can see that he hasn’t had any problems with this arrangement to date. My wife and I have been wondering if it would be a good idea to teach our son a third language. Is that a possibility? Would this affect his first two languages or put too much pressure on him? Is he ready for this or should we wait? We look forward to your response, since we’ll be basing our decision on your professional opinion.

Eloy

Dear Eloy,

Of course it’s possible to teach your son a third language. If you can create enough exposure in that language, your child could even become trilingual. Unless your son has some sort of developmental problems (which doesn’t seem to be the case if he is already speaking Spanish and English at 27 months), he should have the necessary capacity for learning several languages at the same time as long as he is given enough learning opportunities in each language. There are many trilingual children in the world who are proof that trilingualism is possible.

Your fears about putting too much pressure on your son are the key to deciding whether or not to start teaching him a third language at this point. The best option would be for your son to learn his third language in the same way he has learned his first two, by having enough exposure to the language so that he’ll acquire it “naturally”. If he’ll be learning his third language in more of a classroom type setting, it may be best to wait a bit until your son’s first two languages are a bit more grounded. This would put less stress on your son, and you wouldn’t risk any interference with the development of his first two “mother tongues”.

Here’s an example, which might clear things up for you:

If you are able to expose your child to the third language during at least 20% of his waking hours (because one of you has a high enough level in the language or you plan to hire a nanny who speaks the language or are enrolling your son in a school which teaches in that language), then go ahead and start right away. But if you’re thinking about taking your son to classes once a week or watching television in the other language, without giving your son the opportunity to really speak with anyone in that language, it might be a good idea to wait. In this case we’re not talking about developing the third language like a native speaker would, so your son should be able to learn a third language in a classroom setting when he’s a bit older. Many of us have learned to speak a new language very well as older children or even adults, so it’s never too late.

Here are a few suggestions on how to start with the third language if one of the parents can speak and read the language well:

-Reading books in the new language are a great option. It can be useful to choose books for younger children with illustrations, tabs and other special features for you to discuss with your son. The parent who decides to read to the child in the new language should always read in that language, so that the child associates reading time with the new language. If you can find bilingual books in the new language and the language the other parent speaks, that would be a wonderful resource. For example, an English speaking father could read a book in German (the third language) and the mother would read the same book in Spanish. The child will first become familiar with the story in one of his native languages, and then he’ll enjoy the story in the third language.

-A new character or doll that only speaks the new language. This system will allow you not to break the “one parent, one language” rule because you can use the stuffed animal as a new voice. If possible, you might even try to find a doll based on one of the stories you’ve begun to read him (this may be possible with some well known characters). The doll “only knows how to speak” the thrid lanugage, so you could begin to play with your child using a separate voice for the doll in the new language.

-”Only in the new language”. Children have a great understanding of exceptions. If you have a no television during the week rule at home, you could make an exception for television or movies in the new language. You can also use dvds your son already loves and allow him to watch them with the audio track in the new language.

Sometimes it can be difficult to get a child to see a new language as something natural, so creating situations for your son to interact with monolingual people in the new language is one of the most useful things you can do (during family vacations, with a native speaker nanny or an exchange student at home…) The best of luck!

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

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How much exposure to a language does a 20 month old toddler need in order for a new language to really sink in? My daughter is learning German (from my husband + we live in Austria) and English (from me, I’m American) and we would like to teach her an additional language, Spanish so that she can communicate with some of our family members. Both my husband and I speak Spanish but not well enough to teach it to her, I feel. However, we have hired a caretaker from Paraguay that will spend about 15 hours a week with her. I would like her to speak with my daughter only in Spanish in the hopes that she will pick something up along the way. Is this a realistic expectation? Any thoughts you can offer would be greatly appreciated!

Many thanks,
Diana Robleto-Sattler

Dear Diana,

Your question is an excellent one because it deals with two important factors: the amount of time necessary for a a child to learn a third language and how to guarantee that a child will retain a language and not somehow forget everything he has learned.

With regard to the first aspect, many experts believe that children should hear a language for at least 20% of their waking hours. So if your child has 12 “communicative hours” a day, she would need to hear her third language at least 2.4 hours a day. If you want your child to become truly bilingual or trilingual, you will need to give her enough linguistic input in all of her languages for her to be able to communicate, study and work in these languages. We’re not just talking about learning a bit of another language, but rather learning enough of a language so that your daughter won’t have problems using the language on many different levels (speaking, reading, comprehension, writing…)

Of course, this magic number is really just an estimation since many children pick up languages with less exposure and quite effortlessly achieve a native-like level in two or three languages. This will depend not only on the amount of linguistic input received but also on the quality of this input, age of the child and her motivation, linguistic capacities and interest in learning. If you think about it though, it may not be necessary for your child to have as strong a level in her third language as she does with her first two. In order to communicate with family, at least for the first few years, it may be enough for her to feel comfortable with basic dialogue and she may not need to completely master the language.

At your daughter’s age a Spanish speaking nanny is a great idea because this sort of relationship will stimulate interaction and communication in the language. And, believe it or not, you can also be a big help to your daughter’s language development. You can help her learn children’s songs (which are especially useful when they involve hand movements), and you can also read bilingual books with her on a regular basis. Once she is familiar with the story and illustrations in one language, you, your husband or the nanny can introduce the second or third language. It’s not necessary for your daughter to have mastered her languages for her to enjoy either of these activities, since you can read stories and listen to the music as a means of teaching her. Of course, you can also expose her to cartoons and children’s programming in Spanish, which are easy to find on the internet. Spanish speaking family members can also help you out by visiting your home or recommending popular Spanish language resources.

With regard to the second aspect, making sure your daughter doesn’t “forget” or lose her languages, the only real solution is persistence. There have been cases of children who seem to have “forgotten” a language they learned during their early years of development (0-4 years). For example, many children who are adopted in a foreign country have shown a loss in basic productive capabilities and can no longer speak a word of their native language after spending time in their new home. However, not much research has been done on the passive competence of these children (comprehension), since it would probably be much easier for them to “relearn” their mother tongue than it would be for someone who had never been exposed to the language. In any case, after the age of 3 or 4 most children who receive enough exposure to a language do retain what they’ve learned.

You ask whether or not your expectations are realistic, and I honestly think they are. You may just need to incorporate a few other activities in addition to your daughter’s time with her nanny, so that she’ll receive a bit more exposure to Spanish. Lot’s of luck, and please keep us posted!

Dr. Orlanda Varela

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

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Both my husband and I are Spanish, but we would like for our son to learn English very early on. Sometimes we speak to him in English and we watch English dvds with him, but what else can we do to help our son learn English from an early age?

Dear Mama,

I would love to ask you all sorts of questions so that I could give you the best response to your specific needs: How old is your son? What kind of experience do you and your husband have with the English language? What would you say your English level is?…Since I don’t know all the details, I will try to make my response applicable to any Spanish couple who wants their children to learn English as their second language from an early age, regardless of how much or how little English the parents speak.

I don’t know whether or not you have read my previous responses in the Ask Sinews column, but I have already written quite a bit about how parents should provide opportunities in which a child NEEDS to communicate in another language. In order to do this, we need to seek out those activities in which the child will feel the need to understand and respond in a way that will allow him to be understood. Here are a few suggestions:

-School/daycare (your child will feel the need to communicate actively with his teachers and the other children)
-A nanny or other caretaker (the caretaker will speak to your child quite a bit and your child will feel the need to communicate for things like asking for water, getting dressed, eating, playing…)
-Friends or other children around your child’s age (at the park, after school activities, with your friends’ children, etc.)

Bear in mind that I haven’t mentioned English classes at all, since the idea is to expose the child to a second language in such a way that he learns it in the same way he learns his first language, based on trial and error. In order to do this, you’ll need to look for activities which force your son to ineract in his second language. If you want your child to be bilingual you should always make sure to follow the 20% rule, so that at least 20% of your child’s communicative activities (not counting the hours he is asleep!) are carried out in his second langauge. There is a long list of options:

-Sending your child to an all English school or daycare center. This is probably the most effictive option, but you should consider whether or not your English is strong enough to help with homework, meet with teachers, etc. You can also consider a bilingual school in which at least 1/3 of the classes are taught in English by native English speakers.
-Hiring a nanny or caretaker who speaks English to take care of your child, play with him in the afternoon or help with his English homework. There are programs that allow you to provide room and board for a foreign student in exchange for speaking with your child in English for a few hours per day.
-Sign your child up for extracurricular activities in English where he will have the opportunity to interact with other children. This is not always easy, but in larger Spanish cities like Madrid, Barcelona, Seville or Valencia there is a growing number of play-groups organized by English speaking parents. These cities also offer the possibility of finding other activities like storytimes, theaters and sports in English. Internet is a great tool for finding even the most unexpected activities (you can even sign your child up for baseball at the American School in Madrid!)
-Read bilingual books to your child. This works best when one parent reads the book in Spanish so that the child becomes familiar with the story and illustrations and the other parent (or English speaking nanny) reads the same book to the child in English. Getting to know the story, vocabulary, animals, etc and seeing the illustrations will help your child relate each object with the English word. This will also help him learn and understand the use of verbs. If you maintain this reading routine with your child, one day he’ll be thrilled to be able to read the latest books in English before everyone else.
-Vacations/camps/cultural exchanges in English speaking countries. This is especially important when the child begins to communicate in English but still lacks fluency because he doesn’t really see a need for English (Children don’t learn that language can have other uses beyond communication until they’re older, so many children may be reluctant to use English if they know they can be understood in their dominant language.) Another valid option is sending your child to an English camp in Spain with native English camp counselors. At these camps all activities are carried out in English and usually there are also several hours of classes per day.

There are many options but these are some of the best ways to stimulate communication so that your child will see a true need to speak English. We wish you th best of luck with your bilingual family!

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

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As many of you know, we did a great deal of research while developing our catalogue of bilingual books. One amazing resource we’ve found is SINEWS, the Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. You may already be familiar with SINEWS from the “Ask Sinews” section of our blog and newsletter, in which the experts from SINEWS answer your questions and doubts about bilingualism (click here for more information). But what you may not know is that Sinews also hosts interesting workshops for bilingual families in Madrid, which can be a great tool for those of you who live in the area. If you aren’t familiar with the workshops, please read on!

Do children who hear two languages from the time they are born speak later? Does bilingualism “confuse” children and can it be detrimental for your child’s intellectual development? When both parents speak both languages, is it better to use the “one parent one language” model or the “one home one language” model? What should I do if my child refuses to speak to me in the language I speak to him (which he used to use with no problems)? How can I reinforce the weaker language when my child is becoming increasingly proficient in the stronger language? One Friday per month SINEWS (Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid) will answer these questions and more for all parents who wish to participate in their workshops for bilingual families.

In “the cave” at Biblioketa in Madrid a small group of up to 10-12 parents meet together to learn more about bilingualism and share their experiences. Most of these parents already have children between the ages of 10 months and five years old who are growing up in multilingual and bicultural homes. Recently, the workshops have also seen an increase in Spanish parents with a high level of a foreign language, who would like to give their children the opportunity to become bilingual.

The debate is often heated and interesting: Which school should I choose? When should I teach my child to read in his second language?

At the end of the workshops, many parents exchange emails and organize activities with their children. It’s not always easy to find other families who share the same language combination, so this is a great opportunity.

This fall, SINEWS has added a few changes to the workshops:

-It seemed like it would be much more comfortable for parents to attend the first and second parts of the workshop in just one afternoon, so SINEWS decided to combine the two part course into one afternoon instead of two. These sessions will be held one Friday per month in the same place as always, the Biblioketa in Madrid (c/ Justiniano, 4, Metro Alonso Martínez). The first session begins at 4 pm and the second begins at 6 pm. Each session lasts an hour and a half.

-SINEWS has improved and increased the information packs it hands out to parents to include French and English after school activities, web pages with useful resources, a brief bibliography on childhood bilingualism and a calandar for normal language development.

-They have also tried to create a space for specific questions to be answered by the professionals at SINEWS (speech therapists and/or child psychiatrists) who give these courses, as well as a time for participants to share their common experiences.

The contents of the workshops are as follows:

BRINGING UP A CHILD WITH TWO LANGUAGES I
* What is bilingualism?
* Types of bilingualism
* Advantages and disadvantages of creating a family
that speaks two languages
* Things to consider before beginning:
- Expectations
- Actual chances for success
- Other factors to consider
* Planning of the project. Important decisions to make
* Normal evolution of the process, what to expect
* Do we need help? When to consult a specialist

BRINGING UP A CHILD WITH TWO LANGUAGES II
* General considerations:
- A good definition of bilingualism
- Bilingualisms: infinite possibilities
- Priority: to communicate
* Bilingualism and family:
- When to start
- How to do it: Who speaks what language
- Language and emotional attachments
* Bilingualism and school:
- Choosing a school (factors and examples)
- The challenge of reading and writing: when and in what order
- Language classes: a double-edged sword
* Bilingualism and relationships:
- Activities with peers
- The parental model
- Problems of exclusion and xenophobia
* When to consult a specialist

Next Dates
Friday 23rd of October: Workshop I & II
Friday 27th of November: Workshop I & II
Friday 18th of December: Workshop I & II

For more information, please visit SINEWS at www.sinews.es.

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My husband is Spanish and I am from Australia. At home we always speak to our son in English because we feel it will be easier for our son to learn Spanish since we live in Spain. We are starting to consider options for when he starts school next year. Would it be best for us to send him to a foreign (American or British) school? Would he feel obligated to correct his classmates’ English? Could he have similar problems in a Spanish school?

Dear Parents,
From what I understand you have chosen the ONE HOME, ONE LANGUAGE (OHOL) model: only one language is spoken at home by all family members. This system has the great advantage of providing an important stimulus for the non-community language (the language which is not frequently spoken in the community you live in), which usually becomes weaker over time and often disappears from the child’s productive range (some children stop speaking this language with their parents on a daily basis when they feel more secure communicating in their “stronger” or dominant language).

You are right about one fundamental thing: your son will receive enough linguistic input to learn Spanish from the community outside your home (in the park, with his grandparents and cousins, on tv, in shops…). You are also right to be concerned about the next phase: the school you choose is a very strong linguistic stimulant so it is important to bear this in mind.

Your question addresses one of the most frequent matters affecting OHOL homes: Should we continue to give priority to the non-community language? How should we stimulate Spanish? What kind of repercussions would sending my child to a primarily English or bilingual school have on my child’s social development?

The first thing you need to know is that there is no “right” answer to this question, and there is no obligation to make a decision and stick with it no matter what. I always use a graphic example to illustrate this matter: achieving a balance between both languages. All bilingual parents want their children to develop a balance between both languages, so that they feel just as comfortable using both their languages. In order to achieve this goal there is just one secret: to design a scale on which the linguistic needs of each child in both languages balance one another out. Imagine a scale with weights for English on one side and for Spanish on the other. The weight we give to each language should depend on two variables: the time your child spends on activities in each language and the need for active communication during these activities (Watching TV does not require your child to speak, so it is just a source of passive input, while playing soccer with Spanish neighbors does require your child to speak and games like “Who’s Who” are even better for this sort of active language use.) The more balanced the scale, the more balanced your child’s linguistic activity will be.

Your child’s education is a major source of weight for this scale. Your child will not only spend many hours a day in this environment, but the school you choose will also define many of his social relationships, which are one of the strongest communicative stimulants, since a child truly develops his linguistic abilities when he has to convince others, negotiate, complain, show confidence, etc. A school where more than 60% of classes are given in the non-community language (this is not always the case in so called bilingual schools, but it is the case in schools like The American School, King’s College, British Council, etc.) are a great opportunity to preserve this language. This sort of education also helps with the development of literacy skills, which are of the utmost importance when defining linguistic abilities in any language.

At this point, your son has a lot of weight on the English side of the scale. For a few years longer (until he is around five), one of the most important weights is the communication in your home (repetitive activities like bathtime, eating, reading…), but soon your child’s friends and after school activities will become more important and it will be harder to maintain this balance. It can be difficult to gain admission to some bilingual schools when a child is older so, although you may not have an immediate need for this sort of extra English input now, you may want to consider looking into this option.

In any case, all bilingual families should bear in mind that  there are other ways of adding weight to the scales: after school activities (especially small group activities and team sports), contact with the community of origen (feel free to contact us if you need contacts in Madrid) and hiring an English speaking nanny are other alternatives. It’s hard to predict which way the scales will tip, so we should always be open to changing our strategy as we go along, putting more emphasis on one language or the other according to each child’s needs.

Of course we should also realize that creating this sort of linguistic environment for our child and even for ourselves as parents will define us to a certain extent as a different sort of family, and a unique child. Like it or not, our extended families and neighbors will have an opinion about this, and we will have to do our best to make this situation feel as natural as possible for our children so that they don’t feel awkward. If you begin to notice that your son’s Spanish level is affecting his social development, there is always time to move the weights around a bit and this can be done as you go along.

As to whether or not your son will feel obligated to correct his peers’ English, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Young children don’t tend to correct one another because communication generally takes priority over correct speech and each child tends to correct himself in order communicate with others. Also, if your child begins to correct his classmates’ English, he opens himself up to criticism of his Spanish, so that sort of situation generally works itself out.

On the other hand, I believe there are other factors to be considered when choosing a school for your child, such as your economic situation, proximity, day to day quality of life, the specific needs of each child and family, whether or not you plan on moving to another country at some point, etc. I’m sure you are keeping all of this in mind, but it is just a reminder for all those bilingual families out there who are faced with similar issues.

If you do decide to choose a primarily English school, it would be a good idea to include a few extra curricular activities to reinforce your son’s Spanish skills, although that will be easy if you live in Spain. If you decide to send your son to an all Spanish school or a bilingual school with 30% of classes in English (we’ll include a more detailed analysis of this option in a later post), you will have to make more of an effort to encourage your son’s English language development. Whatever you choose, you’ll be successful if you make sure to keep those language scales balanced. Good luck with your bilingual family. You already have two of the most important tools for success: intuition and the will to succeed.

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

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My husband is Portuguese, but we live in Spain. My husband says that it feels unnatural for him to speak to our seven month old son Marco in Portuguese, although he plans to speak Portuguese to him when he is old enough to speak back. I’m always telling my husband it will be too late by then. How can I convince him to speak to our son in Portuguese now? What are the technical reasons why it is so important for Marco to hear both languages from the beginning?

María, Bilbao, Spain

Dear María:

When you feel comfortable speaking to your child in one language, it can be difficult to switch gears and speak to him in another language. Forcing this type of change can even cause emotional difficulties, since it is already hard enough to learn to be a parent, establish emotional ties with your child, etc. This is especially true when your baby’s communication skills are still rudimentary. I would encourage you not to worry too much because IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE.

At this point it seems like I support your husband’s decision, right? The truth is I’m not radically opposed to him waiting until your son is older to speak to him in his native language or even never speaking to him in Portuguese at all if that would somehow damage his relationship with his child. BUT…there would have to be a very good reason for him not to do so.

The following is a list of common myths which are NOT good reasons for your husband to avoid speaking to your son in his native language:
-Myth 1: Portuguese would not be useful for my child, since it’s not as “prestigious” as languages such as English, German or French. Portuguese and its variants are spoken by millions of people worldwide (Brazil, Africa, etc.), and sometimes learning a less “popular” language can provide unexpected academic and career advantages for your child. Who knows if Brazil, like China, may one day become an important trade location for multinational companies?
-Myth 2: If my child learns both Spanish and Portuguese at the same time, this choice may prevent him from learning other important world languages like English. On the contrary, speaking two languages from the time he is small will help your child learn a third language later in life.
-Myth 3: All of my efforts to communicate with my son are in vain until he learns to speak. If that were the case, why should we speak to our children in any language if they don’t understand us?

I would like to help you both make the best possible decision for your family by giving you a few reasons why your son would benefit from hearing both languages as soon as possible:
-Language development begins when the fetus begins to hear. Babies can hear you from the very beginning, even when they’re in their mother’s womb. This process is passive at first, then it becomes more active as the child grows.
-A four month old baby is perfectly capable of distinguishing between the sounds and musicality of both his languages and reacts in a different way to each one.
-Four month olds are also able to learn (by imitating) the movements their parents’ mouths make when speaking with them. According to recent studies, they can even distinguish between facial movements of those who are speaking with them when presented with visual recordings with no sound.
-When a baby begins to babble, he is producing only those sounds included in the phonetic repertoire of the languages he hears at home. He generally produces the easiest sounds first and the more complicated ones later.
-One of the first steps in learning a language is to distinguish its musicality and phonetics. It has also been demonstrated that the earlier a child learns a second language, the easier it will be for him to speak without a foreign accent in that language.

Even if these arguments do convince your husband, he may still need some help deciding how to make the transition from one language to another. Here are few suggestions:
-A visit from a Portuguese family member or a vacation in Portugal would be a great help. When we hear others around us speaking in a language, it feels more natural for us to speak to our child in that language. In this context, the change may not feel as forced.
-It may be easier to make this transition when your husband is alone with your son in a relaxed environment such as bath time, when telling him a bedtime story or singing him a lullaby. The presence of a person he is not used to speaking Portuguese around may make the transition more uncomfortable or artificial.
-Sometimes reading a book in the native language can be a more practical first step. In this way your husband would only have to read what is written. The text could also inspire him to add his own comments or discuss the story with your son. Babies as young as nine months old already love to help turn the pages and look at the illustrations. Reading bilingual books is especially helpful, as each of you can read the text in your own language, which will help your son to associate two different words with the same illustration and actions.
-Playing some of the same games our parents played with us as children can also be helpful. Each culture has its own games, so have fun playing with your son!

Sometimes making these small changes can make the transition from one language to another easier. It also allows us to experiment before deciding whether or not we are capable of making this change, and just how fast or slow we want things to go.

María, I’m afraid this change won’t be immediate or forced, but I wish you both the best of luck with finding the right path for your bilingual family.

All the best,
Dr. Orlanda Varela

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.

Update: Please feel free to send any questions you may have about raising children in a bilingual home to info@bilingualreaders.com, and the experts from Sinews will be happy to answer them.

image credit: learning to ride, via flickr

Jamal is six years old, and he does not own a bicycle. At night, when he hears the call of the mujaheddin resounding in the streets of the market, he dreams of riding a flaming new bike, dodging obstacles on the way to his grandfather’s shop. In Jamal’s dreams he knows how to swerve, and his father has made him a small basket to carry things from one place to another so that he can earn a few dirhams for buying walnuts and chocolate. Jamal loves chocolate.

None of the children Jamal plays with has a bicycle. His uncle Mohamed, who owns a small workshop on the outskirts of town, offered to teach him how bicycles work and drew him a diagram of a bike, which is currently hanging in Jamal’s living room, right next to floor where he can see it before he falls asleep at night. Now Jamal knows how the pedals are used to put the wheels in motion, how the brakes work and how to change gears. But he doesn’t know how to ride a bike.

Perhaps if his neighboor’s oldest son were to loan Jamal his bike for a while he would learn how to ride it. That’s how his cousin Ibrahim learned. Of course Ibrahim doesn’t know how to swerve, and the few times the neighbor loaned him his bike the handlebars swayed back and forth like a lizard’s tail trying to escape. Jamal would love to ride a bike just like the shoeshop’s messenger boy, since he’s never seen him fall. He even rides with no hands and scares the girls by riding towards them and veering aside at the last minute without ever touching them.

Learning a new language is not that different from learning to ride a bike. No one becomes bilingual by studying grammar, just as Jamal will never learn to ride a bike based on his uncle’s explanations or by watching the shoemaker’s messenger boy ride. Of course, learning a language can improve a person’s knowledge and correct usage of that language, but it could never take the place of actually getting on a bike and falling off after leaning too far forward or not pedaling hard enough. Like many other abilities, language use is based on trial and error. In this way, if  Spanish parents expose their children to English language cartoons, this activity alone will not make their children bilingual. Using a language correctly is a skill which must be learned actively, just like riding a bike. And like so many other skills, learning a new language is part of a formula with variables such as motivation, aptitude and opportunity. Jamal is very motivated, but he hasn’t had the opportunity to make his dream come true. Let’s suppose that he did have the opportunity, that his neighboor loaned him his bicycle from time to time. Then we could evaluate Jamal’s sense of balance and the strength of his legs. It could even take him a few days longer than his cousin to learn how to ride a bike, for reasons which have nothing to do with a lack of motivation but, rather, the fact that he may not be that good at riding.

In any case, the maximum expression of opportunity is necessity. If Jamal lived in a town in the Rif and had to ride his father’s bike to school every day, would anyone doubt his ability to ride a bike?

This brief introduction is the first article in an informative series which invites you to  reflect  on raising bilingual children. In each article, you’ll find answers to your questions on issues affecting both bilingual/bicultural families and monolingual families who wish to provide their children with opportunities to learn foreign languages. Please feel free to send any questions you may have about raising children in a bilingual home to info@bilingualreaders.com, and the experts from Sinews will be happy to answer them.

Dr. Orlanda Varela is a Child Psychiatrist and the Coordinator of the educational project for Bilingual Families at SINEWS Multilingual Therapy Institute in Madrid. SINEWS organizes bilingualism workshops for parents in Madrid, as well as personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families with specific language development problems. For more information, please visit sinews.es.