image credit: twenty-nine fathers days, via flickr

I am Scottish and only speak to my daughter in English. Her mum is Spanish. She’s now 2 years and 4 months and produces long sentences and understands everything I say to her. However, I don’t know if I should be forcing her to say more in English as she obviously knows, or let her speak more in her own time. She normally speaks to me in Spanish and I translate everything into English.

Joseph O’Donnell

Dear Joseph,

Before I respond to your question, I’d love to ask you a few questions such as: How often is your daughter exposed to each of her languages? What need does she have to communicate in each language? In which language did she speak her first words? In any case, I will do my best to give you the most helpful response to your particular case.

First I’d like to say that it’s great for you to continue to ask questions and answer your daughter in English even when she answers in Spanish. This is very consistent with the OPOL model you’ve chosen (you always speak in English and her mother always speaks in Spanish). But be careful about “translating” everything she says because that could have a negative effect. On the one hand, this is a “dangerous” way of telling her that she doesn’t need to make the effort to speak to you in English since you will formulate those sentences for her. This is also a fairly unnatural, more academic way of communicating. Your daughter has the great advantage of learning two language at once as all children learn their native languages, by using them, based on trial and error.

Based on what you’ve told me, it seems like your daughter is able to answer you in English from time to time, which leads me to believe that she does have a certain control of English.

What you need to remember is that English is your daughter’s minority language, so she probably feels more comfortable speaking in Spanish. Most children her age are in the midst of the process of EXPRESSING their language. Until now it was more important for her to develop her ability to understand and analyze adult speech in order for her to begin to express her own ideas and needs in words.

It’s important for us to understand that learning a language is not a matter of force or correction. It’s about feeling the NEED to communicate with others. Children use language when it is USEFUL for them to satisfy their needs. This motivates them to keep using it since they see language as a useful tool for achieving their objectives.

In order to further STIMULATE your daughter to use English when she communicates with you without “pressuring” her, I would suggest you use activities that she likes. At your daughters age, you can use children’s songs to sing and dance together, games with puppets (which are great for getting rid of inhibitions and can often help with expression, since your daughter will be speaking to a character that his not her father and “only understands” English), storybooks, etc…In this way you’ll not only be reinforcing your daughter’s English, you’ll also be sharing valuable quality time with her.

In some of the larger cities, there are also playgroups where parents get together to play with their children and do other activities (dance, crafts, theater) in their native languages. These groups would also allow your daughter to see that there are other people who speak English and help it feel more natural for her to use her English. This kind of activities will allow her to see another model: “There are lots of people who speak in English with Daddy.” For this same reason, it’s very important to maintain contact with your family and friends in your home country. Frequent visits are a catalyst for important advances in the minority language.

There are many options for helping your daughter to express herself freely and comfortably in English, but you must always remember that the greatest stimulant is to create a perceived need for her to do so.

Mariana Lombardo is an experienced children speech therapist. She does clinical work at SINEWS with bilingual familias in the expat community in Madrid. Mariana is in charge of the workshops for bilingual families offered by SINEWS and she also gives personalized speech therapy sessions to bilingual families. For more information, please visit www.sinews.es.